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i will sumbit my final findings in case of anyone else stumbling upon this with the same issue
the culprit is udev change event, when the battery is charging or in alarm it will spam change events to udev, this along with status taking too long to poll when discharging causes the freeze of userspace processes that poll battery.
in a hilarious twist of events it's kubuntu's implementation that's borked, when it tries to parse the change event, udev will whine about not being able to chase symlinks for /sys/bus/dmi/devices/id and /sys/firmware/dmi/id and abort the operation.
this means that this will be closed off as a udev+hardware quirk issue and those who have the same issue can utilize the workaround found in #22, unless there is a way to fully supress change events to the acpi battery module for udev which would be more ideal.
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