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If you don't like their forums, just use the Debian section at LinuxQuestions.org. Don't let a few bad apples stop you from using a good distro.
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Debian is a good distribution.
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Over the past 12+ years or so I usually put whatever I'm currently using on my desktop on my servers as it helps to keep things consistant for scripts, maintenance tasks, etc. I've been through several distributions of Linux and even a FreeBSD stint for a few years. At the present I have 1 firewall/router box, 1 fileserver, and 2 web/db servers running Ubuntu Server 10.04LTS and they have been rock solid - even during a dist-upgrade from older releases. I'd consider FreeBSD again as I really enjoy that OS, and I love how things work on it.
I think I only saw one other person mention it, but CentOS is a safe and solid choice also. Its pretty much the defacto standard distrubtion of choice for many hosting companies and in datacenters. We manage a couple hundred physical and VM CentOS installations where I work - most being in a typical LAMP configuration.
I'm on a huge VM kick these days (and keep 4 running in the background whenever I'm in Linux to play with), and I'm convinced playing with things in VM's are the perfect way to learn and familiarize yourself with a system. If you can, install a few distributions via VirtualBox (or your VM manager of choice) and set them up for your intended server usage. Play with them and figure out what works best and makes the most since to you. Something that you feel isn't a chore to manage, and is easily kept update to date with security patches at the very least.
Good luck!
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